I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize