All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
