Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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