We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
