It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
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were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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