I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
operation have a gay friend backfired
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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