Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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