tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We need to rekindle our bromance
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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