plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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