i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
