oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
