i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
