At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
