Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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