I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
