dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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