You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
