4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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