You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
