I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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