dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
