Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
