Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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