Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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