i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
