I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
is it fun? or sober?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
