just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You took a bar mat shot.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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