We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
