The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
