She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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