I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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