whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
