Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
