If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
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Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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