i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Someone signed my nipple.
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