Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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