why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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