My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
