I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize