I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
do nipples grow back?
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