she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
