What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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