Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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