All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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