they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
