Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
