his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
