i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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