i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
