Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Also, beer. Big fan.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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