Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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