Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
