4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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