anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
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