So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
