I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
