summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
