just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong