Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
