Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
