I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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