if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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