Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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