i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
