Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
