areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
